December 2011
2 posts
Even though I’m not entirely sure who actually reads this (it doesn’t even make my mother proud) I’d like to apologise for the lack of attention I have shown to this blog over the past few months. I hope the following will explain (but not excuse) this change in priorities:
THINGS I USED TO DO: Watch porn
THINGS I DO NOW: Read Jane Austin
THINGS I USED TO DO: Drink cheap...
June 2011
10 posts
THIS is everything I’ve ever tried to say but am not articulate enough to do so.
Just looked at my bank statement. It literally goes; liquor store, greasy thai place, liquor store, greasy thai place, bar, bar, bar, liquor store, greasy thai place, servo for snaks at 3am, withdrawl for drugs, rinse and repeat.
Sometimes I stop to laugh and think “and these are my actual life choices”.
May 2011
6 posts
Can someone please kill me if I ever ‘like’ ’Don’t kiss my neck unles you ready tu get nasty ;D’ on fb?!
BARF
Confession:
Reese Witherspoon makes me genuinely sad that I’m straight.
February 2011
1 post
Truest
andrewcourt:
“Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know” - Ernest Hemingway
Do you think we are dumb, unhappy or just rare?
January 2011
1 post
December 2010
4 posts
I find it disturbingly inappropriate when people write OVERLY personal things on their blog. I totally get that this whole blogging phenomenon is here for us to talk about our interests, our grievances and ourselves but seriously some people need to get a fucking diary!
ANDREW COURT: Love →
andrewcourt:
Most of you who have had any personal contact with me in the past week know about my brush with “temporary tinnitus” which, for those uninitiated with medical terminology, is a constant ringing in the ears that lasts for a number of days and is brought on by listening to loud noise. After the…
November 2010
5 posts
THINGS THAT AREN'T FUNNY:
Hacking peoples facebook accounts. We all know that the git that left his/her facebook logged in doesn’t actually like “massive black cock in and around their mouth”. It is painfully clear that no one in their right mind would admit to such a lame fantasy and as the entire pinnacle of your joke, Hacker, is based purely on trickery and deceit you fail. *note: when people leave...
ANDREW:
Hey little e
EMMA:
Big A
How are you?
ANDREW:
good just enjoying a magnum
ice cream, not condom
October 2010
17 posts
“I like my cookies chocolate and my
Men white”
– Lauren Boyd
Some crap wedding photographer was about to take a god-awful photo of a groom and his spiky haired groomsmen standing tall, all wearing their matching wrap around sunglasses. She then realised only two of the three of them had sunglasses and asked if I had any spare in lost property. I did. However, with only the poor bride in mind I lied and saved her having to look at anymore cliché...
Dear Russell,
Well, you’ve bloody gone and done it now, haven’t you?! I warned you countless times through our imaginary meetings and redundant blog letters that you ought not to marry that pop-tart drone and marry me! You and I both know that we connected during your stand up show, and don’t try and act like you didn’t notice me out of the thousands of people in the...
Me: Are you wearing pants in that picture?
Daniella: Pants? No.
Me: Babe, are you stonned?
I'm begining to think that the majority of people...
Working in a customer service/hospitality based position I am forced to deal with drones on a daily basis. Despite having worked in the position for well over a year I am continuously astounded at the general stupidity of the public. For instance, only minutes ago I answered the phone to a gentleman enquiring about accommodation for ten days starting this coming Monday. Unfortunately, on some days...
“Any author who claims emotional distance from his or her work is lying or...”
– Chuck Palahniuk
(interview via)
(via peterstichbury)
Cassie Coane (New York based dj and socialite/slob) won’t stop using the word “dope” so I fear must follow suit.
I wish I had the capacity to be even a tiny bit original however, I don’t think I would know what to do if I had to be the one to do things first.
“You dress elegant women. You dress sophisticated women. I dress sluts.”
– Gianni Versace
“Got you. You’re mine now. For the rest of the day, week, month, year,...”
– Bret Easton Ellis (The Rules of Attraction)
September 2010
15 posts
Today I found myself out with friends in a “cool” location wearing a “cool” outfit. Thinking this would be a prime photo opportunity I demanded that my friends take “candid” photos of me so I could upload them onto facebook.
“Oh god we look ridiculous” one of my friends exclaimed as I pranced about trying to look natural in a crowded location, as...
Occasionally, you stumble across people with very similar thought patterns to your own.
This makes me feel alot less crazy.
Little Tickle: Random thoughts.